Diary of a Pretty
by SomewhereOverTheRainbow6232
Summary: "Beauty is that Medusa's head Which men go armed to seek and sever. It is most deadly when most dead, And dead will stare and sting forever." -Archibald MacLeish, "Beauty"
1. September 8th

September 8th

I was a natural born pretty. I had big, brown, doe eyes with light brown hair with blonde highlights that frizzed sometimes, but didn't make me an ugly. It made me a natural born pretty.

My smile was stunning, people (pretties and uglies alike) were always lost in it, and always l could catch someone staring at me.

Since I was twelve, I had lived in New Pretty Town. Since I was twelve, I had no friends. The older, newer sixteen pretties were nice to me, but none of them were friends to me. Because I was twelve and they were sixteen. How was I supposed to get along with them? Off of that topic…And onto me.

My name is Dahlia. An older name from the Rusties. I'm writing this because I'm thirteen now and have nothing to my name, no friends, and why not? I want someone to remember me. Someone to know the name Dahlia Xavier. Whether it be one person or two, I don't want to die in vain.

I had a friend before. Her name was Cay. She was a born ugly…But to me she was beautiful. Gorgeous, even. But she swore she was just like the rest of Uglyville. She wasn't to me. She was someone, something. She was Zarifa. Special name, an old name from the Rusties too.

Enough introductions. Enough of my past. Enough of the people I won't see for three more years (Zarifa's birthday is the day before mine. June 21st.).

Today was okay…Spent most of my day in my dorm, as always. I'm a hide-away-pretty. There is what I call "hide-away-uglies" but I'm not an ugly. I'm a pretty.

I hate that too, by the way. How my society bases everyone off of looks. All because one person has a high forehead, or eyes that are too close together…Or even too full of lips. How ignorant we are to the internal beauty, or to the things that make us all pretties. Zarifa had the most _gorgeous_ hair. A beautiful silver with grey highlights. She thought it was horrifying. I thought it was beautiful.

She was a natural born pre-I'm sorry…My tears are ruining the paper…

I'm back…My tears have stopped but I'm not ready to talk about Zarifa.

Right now it is that time of day when the setting sun shines beautifully on the growing green grass, making it shimmer and sparkle in the light. Beautiful.

God…The new pretties are making such NOISE. So freaking loud….Too loud….God, I hate them…This is what I hear going on:

"Dude! I t-t," the girl yawned as I hear her try to walk, giggling and saying, "The piggy got loose! The piggy's on the loose!"

Another one responds, her voice slurring, "She's sucha wittle party-pooper."

God…Those new pretties annoy me.

I hope this "piggy" reeeeaallly crashes that damned party. Piggy is my hero…

Oh my gosh, I just heard the fire alarm! This is too good! I know there's no fire, because I'm not stupid, of course. Everyone's screaming and running and being all scared...It's hilarious. I-I have to go take a five minute break again because I'm laughing so hard I'm about to cry all over this notebook.

I figured out the source of the fire alarm and 'piggy break out'…Someone ugly named Tally, I think I heard (oh what a pretty name…) pulled the fire alarm because she came to visit some pretty named Peris. I wonder what made her come….

Does she love Peris? Is he a good friend? I wonder about this Tally and what other tricks she could pull…I hope I meet her someday…She sounds awesome. Not only does she sound awesome, but she sounds…Well…Like Zarifa, I guess.

I miss Zarifa. (I'm mentally kicking myself for bringing her up. I don't know if I'm ready to or not. I don't know, and I'm afraid.) Yes. I'm going to bring her up. I mean…Who could _possibly_ read this besides me? (Okay, maybe a lot of people could read this besides me…Not the point though.)

Zarifa had eyes the color of a rising sun; silver hair with grey highlights that shone so bright it could blind you if you looked at it in this correct lighting. She had a small, perfect pretty nose with her large doe-eyes. Innocence was written all over her lanky frame, and innocence was the exact opposite of what that girl was in my opinion.

Zarifa was daring, a risk taker to the bone. She had a spunk to her, a certain spunk no one knew she had but the ones she allowed to get close to her. Friendly, kind, energetic, spunky….There aren't enough adjectives to describe that girl. Her beauty, inner and outer, was so wonderful I can't even get close to describing it.

How lovely she was… Oh Zarifa…If only you could see me now…A year later and I'm still the same. Still the same frizzfall of light brown hair, I still have my "innocent" doe-eyes with my bushy eyebrows, slightly full lips.

I guess you were right….The last conversation we ever had, you were right.

It was a snowy winter day and we had been goofing off in the snow, giggling and having a snowball fight. One of the last ones we'd ever have. Of course neither of us mentioned that, but we each knew it deep down inside.

When we had finished, Zarifa and I had flopped down into the snow, our layers of clothing keeping us nice and warm.

"So…This is one of the last fun times we'll have together, isn't it?" Zarifa's eyes had been so innocent, so doe-like…So pretty.

She had mentioned it. The one thing I had been trying to ignore. The one thing I hadn't wanted her to say.

"Yeah…I guess it is," I'd whispered into the cool winter air, ignoring Zari's eyes.

"I hate it."

"What?"

"That you're a natural born pretty! Why couldn't you have been an ugly and we get into New Pretty Town together? Only a day apart?"

"You're right…It does suck."

"That's all you have to say?!" Zarifa had bolted up out of her snow-bed and glared at me.

"Yes. It is."

"You suck."

And that was the last time we ever talked.

I wonder if she regrets it, if she regrets ever becoming my friend. I always wonder….

We can live in question without an answer. And I, will do that.

Goodnight,

_Dahlia_


	2. September 19th

September 19th

Sorry I haven't written in a while….I get so side-tracked…Even though I'm not an ugly, I still play tricks.

Zarifa hasn't snuck out to see me…I wonder, _has she forgotten about me?_

I-I'm sure she's made new friends….I'm sure she doesn't care about a pretty… (Oh, by the way, I'm trying dictating to my notebook today. You see, the notebooks in New Pretty Town are able to write as you speak. And you see I feel exceptionally lazy today. So, why not dictate? So, I apologize if some info gets screwed up.) I'm sure she's gone off to make new ugly friends in Uglyville.

The older pretties (specifically my new friend Zane) tell me, "Don't worry about the little uglies! They don't need you anymore."

Great, right? Well, maybe Zane's right. But I don't want to _believe _he's right. Something in my heart says Zarifa could _**never **_forget about me. Never. She made a pact with me the night before I left…

_It had been a windy day, one of those where your dorm jacket was truly a life-saver. It was her birthday, nearly mine. Zarifa was grinning, I was grimacing. Tomorrow, I'd be off to New Pretty Town. Kicking and screaming. _

_Could they even do that? Take you by force off to the operation? They were going to tweak me and edit my features._

"_You're __**so**__ totally lucky, Pretty," Zarifa said, referring to me by my ugly nickname._

"_**You're **__so totally lucky, Mouse," I whispered, but the whisper got lost in the wind, off to the direction of New Pretty Town._

_We called Zarifa "Mouse" because of her height. How small she was. _

_Could the operation fix that? Her height? I hoped not._

"_Why?" She questioned._

"_You don't have people lining up to see what a natural pretty looks like. You don't have everyone glued to your hip, trying to be your best friend. And __**you, **__Mouse, do not have to be shipped off kicking and screaming to New Pretty Town tomorrow. Totally gonna be my worst birthday ever."_

"_It's my worst birthday too," I caught her whisper before it was eaten by the wind._

"_How so?" I asked._

"_My best friend is being shipped off to New Pretty Town tomorrow. Totally bogus."_

_I caught the word "__**bogus".**__ Oh how she loved that word. The way it tasted, she said, the way it sounded. The way it felt on your tongue was so odd to me, I never used it._

"_Then let's make this night count, dah-ling," I said with a wink, grabbing my hoverboard and jumping out into the cool night air through my window. The way I said "darling" was always making her smile…._

_Her smile was incredible. It shone through the night air with a sparkle like a diamonds. She'd always had such a pretty-making smile._

_As we rode into the night air, arms outstretched, she smiled in my direction, "So, you excited?"_

"_I'll be going kicking and screaming, Zari, and you know it," I murmured, causing her to laugh._

_Her laugh was harmonizing, beautiful, even. _

"_But you get to live in New Pretty Town! You'll be able to have new, better friends!"_

_I pulled my board to a screeching stop that nearly threw me off the board._

"_I, am not, LUCKY!" I cried, and pulled my board to zoom forward, darting around trees, cutting my way over head of what seemed like millions of uglies. _

"_I'm sorry Dahlia," she said in a worried whisper._

"_No! It's always 'you're so lucky' this, or 'you're so lucky' that! I'm done with it!" I screeched, now grabbing the attention of some uglies with my high speed._

"_I'm sorry!" Zarifa cried after me. _

_I sped off, not caring how angry I was at the girl, not caring that I'd be leaving tomorrow. All I knew was that I was pissed off, wanted to cry, and felt sick to my stomach because of the speed I was traveling at._

_Zarifa caught up to me, "Dude, honestly…"_

_Her voice was lost in the wind, not that I cared._

_I growled at her, "Just go away! You only care that tomorrow's my operation! You suck!"_

_Zarifa laughed kindly at me, "You think I suck? Thank you."_

_She said it so seriously, so honestly, I wanted to believe she was truly unhurt by my words. But that was Zarifa for you. Always acting happy, smiling, and joyful, when inside she was falling apart._

"_Mouse? You okay?" I asked after a moments silence._

"_Yeah, I am, Pretty."_

"_Wish me luck for tomorrow?"_

"_Luck."_

That was our last conversation. Argument to sappy soap opera. Lovely friendship we'd established, right?

I should probably wrap this up, now, shouldn't I? It's getting late, and I want to crash before the parties begin.

_**A.N: My "h" key is malfunctioning today, so you know. If I'm missing an h somewhere, that's why.**_

_**I'm using so many "h"'s right now. XD**_


	3. October 5th

**A.N: FIRST OFF. Sorry I haven't written in a while. T_T Blame school. SECOND. I have nothing else to say. :P**

**Songs Used: Beautiful & Hurt- Christina Aguilera. DON'T OWN!**

October 5th

I wrote two songs today, diary. I think they're pretty good….So I'll write them down…Just so I don't forget.

I call this one _**Beautiful.**_

_Every day is so wonderful_

_Then suddenly, it's hard to breathe_

_Now and then, I get insecure_

_From all the pain, I'm so ashamed_

_I am beautiful no matter what they say_

_Words can't bring me down_

_I am beautiful in every single way_

_Yes, words can't bring me down... Oh no_

_So don't you bring me down today_

_To all your friends you're delirious_

_So consumed in all your doom_

_Trying hard to fill the emptiness_

_The pieces gone, left the puzzle undone_

_That's the way it is_

_You are beautiful no matter what they say_

_Words can't bring you down_

_You are beautiful in every single way_

_Yes, words can't bring you down, oh, no_

_So don't you bring me down today..._

_No matter what we do_

_(no matter what we do)_

_No matter what we say_

_(no matter what we say)_

_We're the song inside the tune_

_Full of beautiful mistakes_

_And everywhere we go_

_(and everywhere we go)_

_The sun will always shine_

_(sun will always shine)_

_And tomorrow we might wake on the other side_

_We are beautiful no matter what they say_

_Yes, words won't bring us down_

_We are beautiful in every single way_

_Yes, words can't bring us down, oh, no_

_So don't you bring me down today_

_Oh, yeah, don't you bring me down today, yeah_

_Don't you bring me down ooh... today_

Like it? Now, I'm not much of a singer, but I think that song sets me apart. Zane says its good.

I call this one _Hurt._

_Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face  
You told me how proud you were but I walked away  
If only I knew what I know today_

I would hold you in my arms  
I would take the pain away  
Thank you for all you've done  
Forgive all your mistakes  
There's nothing I wouldn't do  
To hear your voice again  
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do  
And I've hurt myself by hurting you  
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit  
Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss  
You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this

Would you tell me I was wrong?  
Would you help me understand?  
Are you looking down upon me?  
Are you proud of who I am?  
There's nothing I wouldn't do  
To have just one more chance  
To look into your eyes and see you looking back

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do  
And I've hurt myself  
If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that  
I've missed you since you've been away

Oh, it's dangerous  
It's so out of line to try to turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do  
And I've hurt myself

By hurting you

That one's about Zarifa. How I hurt her over and over, continuously hurting myself…

I've heard about this place, called _New Smoke…_ Some pretties think it sounds totally bogus. I think it sounds...Bubbly…Living out in the wilderness all the time? Alone with uglies? It sounds perfect. Everyone would be unified…Every person beautiful. Everyone magnificent…

If only we could harmonize into a world so perfect…If only New Pretty Town had never been invented. And we were all just ugly. Wouldn't that be great?

Beauty is an image created to tear others down. A way to break people at the cost of another's self-reassurance.

We all dream of crossing the river to New Pretty Town from Uglyville.

But what about those who don't dream of it? What's to be made of those amazing few? Are they sent to the firey blazes of hell? Just because of the few words they speak that make them different? Just because of a wish they have?

And on that note, diary. I should get going….I have some business to attend to…

Write to you later,

_Dahlia_

_**A.N: Sorry it's so short! D: I'm not very creative today, but felt bad because of how long it's been since I've written anything.**_

_**Remember, I don't own the songs. Their Christina Aguilera's property.**_


	4. October 6th

**A.N: Wanted to get out a quick chapter before I go spend the weekend with my family. :3**

**I also wanna thank ****Fanna Casat L'Etrange**** for reviewing and giving me the **** constructive criticism. :) **

October 6th

I need to get into the habit of writing at _least_ twice a week. Dictating to my notebook again.

_Sigh._ I've decided on it, diary. I'm running away. I don't care what these damned walls can hear. I'm running away to the Smoke.

I can't stand it here anymore, diary. I can't stand it here. It makes me so mad. No one sees me for who I am anymore.

Well, they never _did_ anyway, so what does it matter? I'll take off my interface ring somewhere...Put it in a river, see how the rumored Specials like searching down the river blocking uglies from coming into New Pretty Town.

Why am I running away? Because I can't stand it here, like I said. I want to see if I can really get to the Smoke somehow...Maybe I'll die on the way, but I'll have this diary with me the entire way. I'll journal what happens. Tell my story.

Because I'm not some empty-minded pretty. I'm Dahlia. I'm different. I'm not like them. I might have to remind myself of this every night, but I'm not like them. I never will be, and I never was, a regular pretty.

I believe being a natural pretty makes you wiser. Not to say every other pretty is stupid, but...There's just something off about them. Somethings not right with them. Something never _will_ be right with those pretties.

Maybe they're screwed up in the head. Maybe I'm lucky like that, to be an _intelligent_ pretty.

Maybe the surgery does something to your head... Nah, probably not..I'm just rambling on and on.

Now...I need to make a list of what I should bring to the rumored Smoke:

A heated sleeping bag

_Instant food. (How will I scrounge that up though?)_

Clothes (duh. Maybe the wall can cough up something _really_ warm and bubbly-looking so I'll fit in with the crowd...)

Other:

I left a few blank so I can fill them in later, if I think of any. The other was just because I see it on a lot of lists.

Well, I should be going to bed, diary.

_Dahlia_

_**A.N: Sorry it's so short...But I feel like this one came out better than the last chapter. XD**_


	5. October 13th

October 13th

This is it, diary. Tomorrow I'm running away from New Pretty Town. I'm running away from the air-headed girls and boys. I just...I just realized I can't take it anymore.

I can't take the fact that no one else is smart. I can't take it that all I hear day in and day out is, "Totally pretty-making" this and that. I can't handle it anymore! Do you know how _sickening_ it becomes?! It's totally aggravating! They don't know who the hell they're saying this shit in front of! They don't! It's even _more_ sickening!

So diary, I guess this is it for a while? I'm pretty much giving up with journaling. I'm done. I can't..I know I said I would, but I can't.

So diary...Farewell...

_Dahlia_


End file.
